Cocoa Beach

The problem is we are ready to give the world for love. Instead, we find ourselves trapped in the practical, tiny stupid things that we give out of love. And to please that self-imposed roll that we end up calling love, we take all the energy from love and so love turns into something dull and meaningless. Most of us have kids, to jump over the abyss. Some turn to volunteer work, art, politics and so on. There is even some among us that share the logic of men, which is not bad, it’s just that is not our way.

We yearn for that companion who will share the same spirit and joy and suffering. We expect our man to be up for the job. We feel alone sometimes because we have the need to be understood. We still carry on the stigma of women all over the world. Men don’t feel the need to be approved to do whatever they want to do. We must conquer that.

We must understand who we are, what do we want and fight for it. Because we are not dolls, nor goddesses… We are. And we make ourselves everyday.

I want to find out who I am and I have no choice but doing it as it comes. The important thing here is the trip in me. It is hard to remember sometimes that we are the bearers of joy, that if we let it die, it just goes away. It is important that we remind ourselves why we are here. And we are here to root ourselves to the earth while we dream of the moon. We are here to center, to balance, to give love and peace. Not to become tragic clowns.

Of course, we cannot do the job if we are not happy with our lives. So that must be corrected and we must be practical and brave about it. If we cannot change a situation, we must find the way to live with it while we find the way to change it. If it’s in our hands to change it, we must do so, before we become bitches, which are not dolls, goddesses neither women.

I know if I could stop worrying about the consequences and about what people might thing, I would accomplish many more things, things that would make me more secure about myself, that would make me love myself before I love somebody else. But that would not be me.

“To be yourself is all that you can do”, said Chris Cornell. “I'm just a girl, what's my destiny? What I've succumbed to is making me numb”, clamed Gwen Steffani.

Working at home must be hard. I admire you. And I am sure that if you make the best of the extra time you get by not having to move around, you’ll be able to enjoy yourself in many ways. Sometimes you just need to see things differently.

I don’t know why I tell you all this bullshit, tough, I am the biggest liar, I disappoint myself everyday. But one thing is for sure, I’d love to have this conversation in Cocoa Beach, beer in one hand, cigarette in the other, staring at the ocean.